Today I stand strong, the hero’s
light shinning from my brow. I have
reached deep, “eaten bitter” and finished Nursing School. Nothing in my life has challenged me as
nursing school has. Readers will know
that I failed the last semester and had to repeat it. This was the first time in my life I ever
failed to meet my goal. I had no one to
blame but myself. Through this process I
learned a lot about me and I had to learn to deal with failure in a way I have
never had to before. I learned that
given the choice between the easy road of mediocrity and the hard road of
excellence, I will choose the harder road.
Today not only did I successful complete that last semester, I received the
grade of an A and got excellent reviews from my clinical instructors. I have already been offered, and accepted, a
job at a local hospital. I feel
redeemed. I feel victorious.
In “A
hero with a thousand faces” by Joseph
Campbell, he describes the hero’s journey.
It starts at status que, then there is the call to adventure. Along the way the hero meets a more
experienced guide who helps them. The hero
faces a serious of traps, enemies, or challenges. Then the here will face their biggest
challenge. This then changes the
hero. The hero returns to the start with
something new. A new knowledge, magic,
technology, idea…something. Also the
hero is changed. Nursing school has been
my hero’s journey. My call was the need
for financial stability, and I think the call of the goddess Bridgit and Lugh,
not to mention the call of my ancestors, many of whom were healers. I had the help of many teachers and
instructors, who guided me, and armed me with information and knowledge. I faced many challenges; tests, with
questions that required multiple levels of critical thinking, difficult situations
with patients and their families. I had
to confront my own fears, multiple times.
At the end, just when I thought I was going to be done, I was told that
I had failed to meet the requirements of level 4 clinic. I could have walked away at the point right
there, but I was given the option to keep coming to class, so I did. I had to learn how to deal with failure. I learned it was much like the process of
dealing with the loss of a loved one, with stages of denial, anger, bargaining,
and acceptance. At the end, I was given
the opportunity to either be graduated with my class, though the instructor
felt I would have a “large uphill climb” when I got into the real world; or to
come back and she promised me a seat in the next semester, and come out
standing on top of that hill. I had no
time to think, a decision had to be made then and there. It was a poignant moment of my life. You see I had a lot of pressure to be
done. My wife hates her job and was only
waiting for me to finish school and start a job to quite. My kids could use the extra income to better their
lives. To be done was so tempting. “to hell with what the teacher says, I know
what I am doing, I could be done and get a job…but what if I really don’t know
what I am doing…what if I hurt someone..”
These were but a few of the thoughts and pressures going through my head
in that moment. Looking back I feel this
moment was perhaps a test from the gods.
Maybe it was Lugh, maybe Brigit, maybe both, maybe none, I can’t say but
I know what I choose. I choose to repeat the semester. I choose the road of excellence.
Today I
stand strong; the hero’s light shinning from my brow. I have reached deep, “eaten bitter” and
finished nursing school. Nothing in my
life has challenged me as nursing school has. Through this process I learned a
lot about myself and I had to learn to deal with failure in a way I have never
had to before. I learned that given the
choice between the easy road of mediocrity and the hard road of excellence, I
will choose the harder road. Today not
only did I successful complete that last semester, I received the grade of an A
and got excellent reviews from my clinical instructors. I have already been
offered, and accepted, a job at a local hospital. I feel redeemed. I feel victorious.
