Tuesday, March 23, 2010

prayer time

Today I have a test in Chemistry. I have studied, but am still feeling I could use a little extra help. I decided to simply pray. Here is how I chose to do it. Because of time issues I chose to keep it simple. I wore only jeans. My tools consisted of my crane bag, my staff, and my incense cauldron. I went outside to my back yard. There I set down my cauldron. I grounded. I cast a circle and invoked the quarters. I asked the spirits present, that being the quarters and my guides, to open the gates, or lift the veil, between this world and the spirit worlds. I then set fourth calling to Lugh, master of all arts, champion of champions. I asked his aid in the up coming challenge I face today. I asked the spirits and ancestors to help me as well. In return I burned an incense mixture of Sage, Ceder, and Sweet grass, as offering. After a time I meditated. I focused on the Ogham Muin. After this, I felt I was done, so I thanked the Gods, spirits, and ancestors and asked the guides to close the gates. I then ended the rite.All in all it took me about an hour. Now all that's left is to see how I do on this test.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

externally speaking...

This week I did very little inner work. I didn't meditate very much. I felt I needed to use the time I would have meditated to work on getting ready for my Chemistry midterm, and building flagpoles for the flags we are going to use at our wedding. I am rather pleased with how they have come out. they are 8 ft. tall with a cross bar on top that is 3 ft. I plan to make bitik cloth banners that will represent each of the elements. I have found working with he wood very cathartic.
In other news I have been watching cliques form and friendships end within the Meetup group. It's an interesting social dynamic. I am the main organizer of the pagan meetup group, and I try to keep things running smoothly without getting overly involved. I believe these things need to play themselves out naturally with only a little "watering" here, and some "weeding" there. Tonight the group had an Ostara celebration. It was well done considering it was only the second time leading a ritual by the couple putting it on. It was improved over the first ritual they did, and I am confident that their work will only get better with practice.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

out of the woods they came...

Wow. What a week. It really got rolling on Tuesday for me when, during a test I was conducting for the Anatomy class I am a teacher's aid for, a woman ran out of the alloted time to answer a question threw a huge tantrum when I wouldn't allow her to finish writing her sentence. This incident was remarkable for one main reason to me. The emotional outburst didn't bother me in the slightest. I wasn't mad, or insulted, or hurt, or fearful. I felt...nothing, and yet at the same time I felt a little bit of an adrenalin push by my body in the chance it turned physical. In the past such an outburst and sudden explosion of anger would have upset me greatly. It's just part of being empethetic. However, I attribute this change in my response to the situation to the Circle of Protection exercise I learned from John Michael Greer in his Druid Magic Handbook.
Wednesday didn't get interesting untill that night. I arrived at the place where I hold the pagan meetup meetings. On my drive there, I get a call from a good friend who askes me to help him through some issues with a spirit-walk. I agree and we set an apt. for Saturday. Before I even walk in the door I am being approached by the woman who was the main subject of the two previous posts. She tells me she is doing very well, however her niece, the one who the malicious spirit was sent after in the first place isn't doing as well. I told her I'd look into it. (I sent the young woman an email and got a long response. It seems sincere enough and I am trying to find the time to pursue the situation further.) I walk in the door of the building and I quickly am pulled off to the side by yet another member asking to speak to me for a few min. I say "sure step into my office" and we head to the back. She talks to me of her "issues" and I tell her I'll need some time to contemplate them and get back to her. (which I did the following evening. It seems I was helpful.) We have the meeting and I head home. I am not in the door 2 Min when my phone rings and it is yet another friend needing a compassionate ear. This took up my evening till bed time. At which point my lady love was upset, for it turns out that she too wanted me to help her process some family issues. I was able to feel the furnace of her anger and not take in personaly, and in fact she made a few good points. She calmed down, and we talked a good while and shared some tears.
Thursday. On thursday the woman who had the out burst in class appologized to the teacher for her behavior. Thursday night as I am leaving my chemistry class I get a text from a young woman in the meetup group saying she and her fiance wanted to speak to me in person. I asked what was up and found out that her roommates (other members of the meetup) had asked her to move out of the aprt. they shared. I told her the meeting would have to wait till Friday.
Friday at the meeting all went well. Mostly she just wanted some advice and support as to waht to do. Nothing to hard, and really she was making all the right choices all she wanted was a stamp of approval as it were.
Saturday, I met with my friend today. Though I am not sure what he thought of our meeting, I felt it went really well. I never did end up doing a Spirit-walk. It wasn't needed. Just some good old fashioned spiritual counsel. I hope he will be able to put the suggestions I gave him into practice.
For each of these people who came to me for help, I did an Ogham reading, not for them, but for myself, asking "how can I help this person the most". I must say I found that very valuable input and insight into each person situation. It has done much to put my faith into the information I get from Ogham divinations. I still have to look many of the meaning up in a book. That doesn't seem to detet the insights I gain. I also "heard" my spirit guides as I was listening to my friend speak to me. When I say "hear" or "heard" I don't want my readers to think that I get an actual auditory clue. Its more like an intuitional thought that just jumps into my head. I get the sense that it isn't a thought of my own, yet they are increadably insightful and powerful. As they came, I through them out to my friend in a way that they will make in impact. Like a peble on a pond. Time will tell how the ripples develope.
....and now? Now, I am turning off my phone, and going to spend the rest of the evening with the most amazing witch in the world.
Bridget's bright blessings on your and yours.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Getting to know the twins

This week I am working with the inner twins of light and darkness. These two beings are portrayed in the story of Tailisin and his birth as the beautiful daughter of Cerridwin and her ugly son Avagddu, wich means "utter darkness". These two characters represent our light selves and our shadow selves. The idea of working with them is to learn about oneself on a deeper level. It's not about destroying the shadowself, wich really is impossible nor a good idea, but about learning to balance the two selves. Thus we come to live a more peacful and balanced life.

I started working with these two yesterday in a spirit-walk. In this session I only spoke with Avagddu. He appeared as an ugly child with wrinkled like an old man with a flat piggish nose and bad teeth. We talked of some of the events of my past. Times when I had been picked on at in elementary school. We talked about weight issues and how that had affected our self esteem. My parents always criticized my weight, putting me on diets that they never held me to. What's strikes me now as an adult is I look back at pictures of me when I was younger and think, I wasn't over weight at all really. Even in college I looked good, yet the whole while I was living those days, I thought of myself as fat and over weight. Interestingly, I am more out of shape now then I was then, yet I feel much more accepting of myself and my body now then I did back then. Ok back to the spirit-walk... We came to talk about my physical fitness now. Together we decided that it was some thing we could change together and so I did my best to convince him to work with me on that. I wanted to talk more with him, but my session was intereupted by my beautiful step-daughter returning from school.

Later in the evening, my fiance were talking and she suggested I start doing my morning exercises again while she showers in the morning instead of laying in bed. I smiled to myself hearing the words knowing they were coming from spirits. This morning, I did my sit ups and pushups. I plan to steal some more time away from my studies today to go on another spirit-walk to the castle of Cerridwin and speak to her children some more. There is more to discover, more to heal, and more balance and joy to find.