Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Water witch

Water is the theme for the week that's for sure. I am on day 3 of no hot water in the house, and my beloved Water witch is up in arms over the oil leak in the gulf. I mean I myself am concerned and upset by it, but my beloved witch is pissed. She has magick is going to weild it this night. I and many others will be there as well. I have never seen her so stirred up. She has been having dreams and messages from her goddess about the issue. I never know exactly what she's going to do in her magicks. she doesn't work off a script in any way shape or form. She works intuitivly. I have seen her perform some amazing magicks this way and can put a spell together in just a few minuets. I on the other hand take my time, looking through books, and carefully planning. I have been known to take a day or more to put a spell together. That being said I have noticed as I have more practice doing magick and finding out what works for me it takes me less time to put things together. Of all the elements I would say water is the most difficult one for me to really "jive" with. I see this reflected in my life in many ways. Mostly in a slight disdain I feel toward it. I am not afraid of it, but I don't care to say..go swimming, or get in a hottub. I'd rather go camping in the woods then go to the beach (even though I really enjoy time at the beach). I can't remember the last time I was in a bath instead of a shower. As a child though, I spent a lot of time swimming and snorkling in the river behind my home. I spear fished and collected cans. I floated the river more times then I can count. Perhaps as I have grown older I have lost that comfort with water I once had. Perhaps I just have more responsabilities. I have done the water ritual twice now, both times with similar results. I get "drawn" into the water and have images of water spirits, though they never talk to me. I'll keep working at it though. I know I need to be more like water in many ways. I'd like to be more like my b'loved water witch, and be able to work from intuition in weaving magick. To help with this goal I have placed the water dragon card from the Druid animal oricle on my alter. I have placed a lovely image of the lady of the lake on my desk top. So off I go to once again scry elemental water.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Water water everywhere...

I have done the OBOD Bardic ritual of water. After entering the grove and doing the light body exercise, I looked into the bowl of water before me from the astral. I found myself drawn into it, pulled into the elemental world of water. I found myself in deep deep water. I could see the shimmering light of the sun above me, and deep deep blue nothingness beneath me. I was not alone though. I had the impression of schools of salmon, sharks, whales, and Undines. I hitched a ride on the back of a salmon and pulled along deep following in the direction of the undines. I got the impression of underwater cave like homes in a cliff face. Then I was taken to the surface and when I broke to the air I hand reached down and pulled me onto a boat. There was an old bearded druid and he had pulled me into a small skiff powered by a little prop. He laughed joyfully at his most recent "catch" and we puttered up a river to a lake. There he dumped me over the side and I sank slowly to the bottom of the lake. This caused me to feel some distress. As a child my parents had a cabin on a lake in Oregon. I had several bad experiences there that, had they gone worse could have ended with my death. The lake bottom was full of "seaweed" that was tall and felt very clingy. I hated to swim in the lake because you could always feel it brushing against your skin with its rubbery leaves and stems and I always thought it was going to pull me down and I would drown. Here I was sinking into the stuff. I tried to keep calm as I felt the panic build. Before it got to much, I found myself back in the sacred grove and from there back in my body. I completed the ritual asking for the depth and peace of the water. I used it to purify and cleanse myself and closed the ritual in the usual way. I have gained much to think about in this ritual, and plan to repeat it tomorrow. It seems obvious I have some water issues. I think tomorrow when I do this ritual, I will do it outdoors sitting at the sacred pond I built.

...and more

So now the pilot light on the water heater won't stay on. Parts have to be ordered. It was very nice of Lugh to let me know that a multitude of problems were coming down the road. It's much easier to not get frustrated with things when you are at least mentaly prepaired for them.
So in other spiritual news, I spent all day Saturday talking with my good friend Frater POS. I never seem to tire talking magick with him. His syestem is very different from mine, and yet at the same time accomplishes many of the same goals. I have talked to him about the idea of trying to invoke the god Lugh. I am still considering it. I have never invoked a god or goddess before. I have invoked animal spirits at times. It's some thing that comes very naturaly to me, invoking animal spirits that is. I learned to do it as a boy, running through the woods pretending to be this animal or that. Later, while playing sports or doing martial arts I Learned that I could invoke animal spirits to help me.
In the OBOD training I am at the point of starting to work with the element of water. There is a ritual I need to perform. I shall do this tonight or tomorrow.
Brighid's bright blessing upon you all.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

They came through in the end.

My readers will remember a while back when I wrote how I gave offerings to the holy kindred to aid me with a chemistry test. Heck my great grandfather McFarlin was a Pharmacist. Well on that test I scored badly and felt they didn't come through for some reason. Well, as fate would have it, I went into the final test with and 88.15% in the class. Adding together points I would have to score 180 out of 200 points on the final, which was 70 questions long, to get an A in the calss. Doing the math that means I could miss 5 questions total. Based off my past scores I thought this feet extreemly unlikely for me. Unlikely or not, I wanted that A and I was going to do all I could to get it. I sacrificed (by not going to meet with a druid grove and have a mini esteddford) and studied hard. I took the test and I felt the awen and the spirits helping me. Yesterday I got the results. Going online I went to the college web site and trying not to hope for to much I couldn't believe my eyes to see an "A" as my final grade in the class! I, and the spirits, had made it happen. This weekend I plan to give a special offering to them in gratitude for thier help. I will continue to strive hard to do Honor to my ancestors, my family, and my "tribe".

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Manifestation of the obvious

Today is a beautiful Sunday morning. I am at peace. However last friday I was not. Last Friday was no fun. Last Friday as I got into my jeep, after being told at the post office that the certified letter which contained the check that was the solution to my Arrears problem was no where to be found, failed to start. Now, I wasn't overly suprised by this, my jeep has been letting me know for some time that the starter was going bad. It's old. It's to be expected. I had even taken her in before to have it looked at, only to have it work just fine in front of the mechaniac. None of that seemed to matter though as I was trying with all my might to stay centered. Calling my Fiance` for help turned out to be poor timing as she was having her own difficulties with the computer at work at that moment. We ended up taking our frustrations out on each other. However we are both spiritual people and we quickly found our centers, made up, and she came to see if we could jump my jeep. Sadly, no. An hour later she was back at work, and I was watching the tow truck expertly place my jeep in the parking spot at the mechanics. $480.00 later that was to go toward wedding expenses, but now never would, my jeep was up and runnng better then it had in months. I love my Jeep. We have been through some Narly shit together. She has break away mirrors and they work. So what does any of this have to do with being a druid? Well, everything. I am on this spiritual path not to simply learn magick and become "powerful". I am on this path to better myself as a person. I am a Bard in OBOD. all the time, not just eight times a year or when I feel like it. How I handle these small mundane challenges to me difines my progression more then anything else. I can see I still have work to do.
I have been busy with wedding preperations the last few days and haven't made time to do my meditations like I should. Today I got back to it, and how good does that feel! So much better. Sitting at the edge of the pond and water fall that I built giving offerings of insence and herbs to the holy kindred and meditating is magick unto itself.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

...and so it goes and so will you too soon I supose.

Yesterday morning, at about 1l:45 we got the news, My loves grandfather passed through the Vail. The timing of the news was perfect as she was home for lunch when we got the call and I was able to be there. I could sense the hand of the holy kindred in it's timing. As expected she was distraught. I laid all my plans aside and I spent the rest of the day just being with her. I did not wax philosophic or spiritual. That was not place or need or reason to be there. I simply held her when she cried and cried with her, listened when she spoke, got her tissue, got her water. I did nothing to stop her bereavement. Others in her life took on the role of helpful spiritual guide. Sometimes we are just to close to the one in pain, to close to the pain itself to play that role. Wisdom I believe is knowing ones role and "playing" it to the best of ones ability. Because her grandfather was physically far away we were not able to help or to see the body. Because of my love's mother's philosophies there will be no grand funeral. Only a small memorial that we will not be able to attend due to distance, work, and funds. What ever extra money we have right now is tied up in paying off the wedding. I couldn't help but notice that the grandfather died on the dark moon exactly a month before our wedding, which he would not have been able to attend physically due to his ailing health. Now I know he'll be there in spirit. So to honor his passing we went to the market and gathered some of his favorite foods and we had a dinner in his honor, even setting a place, dish, and drink out for Grandfather. Some special items he had made were set near his plate and a candle lit. The dinner was filled with moments of silence, gentle laghter, and gentle tears. Then at night, I lit the fire in the offering cauldron and we placed his dinner into it while his favorite music quietly slid out of the ipod. Prayers were said by my b'loved imploring Hecate to guide him and take care of him. We were joined by the priestess and sister of my heart who will be leading our wedding. It was a heavy day and I finished it exhausted. The end result, my love woke up this morning and got on with life. I got on with making the flags for the hand fasting.

Cattle die, and kinsmen die.
Thyself eke soon wilt die;
but fair fame will fade never,
I ween, for him who wins it.

Cattle die, and kinsmen die.
Thyself eke soon wilt die;
one thing I wot, wilt wither never:
the doom over each one dead.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Hi my name is Lugh.

Today was a red letter day for me. I have been doing offerings of herbs and incense almost everyday for about a week now. Today after doing it, I sat and meditated. Before I go further I Need to go back. Last night I noticed a change in the energy patterns around my home. At first I thought it was just the strong wind that had blown up. But the feeling was different. I couldn't quite put my finger on how, just that it felt like energy was moving in ways it didn't normally. As I slept that night I had a very long and very vivid dream. When I awoke I wasn't sure if the dream was important or not, but it was unpleasant. I had the feeling that something, I didn't know what, was coming. In the end I called it just a dream and nothing more.
My goal for the meditation this day was to simply practice quiting my mind. No spirit-walks, no nothing...just silent. I achieved that but then as the clouds moved a stream of sunlight hit my face and body and I heard a voice in it. It identified it's self as the god Lugh. He warned me that I would have to be strong in the next few months, then he was gone, and not a word about what I would be facing.
I didn't have to wait long though to get a good idea. My fiance' called me and told me her beloved grandfather is dying. His kidneys are failing, his liver is failing, and his PO2 levels are so poor even on oxygen he can't walk across a room without getting dizzy. We have plans to go up there in two months. She hopes he can hang on that long so she can see him one more time. I know when he passes to the summer lands, it will be hard for her. All grandfathers should be loved so much as he.
That aside, this is the first time Lugh has spoken to me. Short as the message was, I liked it.
To go back again, further this time, readers may recall that the spirits had instructed me on how to make a copper disk that could be used in magick. I finished said disk and asked the spirits about two days back now, how to use it. I was told that it is used to scry with or to summon spirits or to lessen a spirits presence in this world. It's like a window to the other side of the veil. I tried some scrying in it, but that's about all. As I use it more, I'll be sure to post more about it.

Friday, May 7, 2010

some days you feel like a nut, some days you don't

My life is all about finales right now. I tried to meditate and well, "epic fail" would be a good description for today. I started to do a little ritual, the earth weaving ritual, and just wasn't "in the mood" for it. Back to the books!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Solution has arrived...

Well the solution has arrived to the financial problem my ex has stirred up. So then why did I feel so crappy about it? First I must say there was a flood of emotions surrounding the news. Happy that my magick worked, relief of the stress, anticipation of the woman's reactions when she finds out that I have escaped yet another one of her financial traps laid out for me. (thank you my foxy friend). Yet at the same time I felt bad. I wasn't happy. In fact I felt down right bad about it. I felt bad that it was coming from my parents. I spoke with the spirits today in meditation. I met with Cernernos actually. He let me look into a cauldron and in it I was able to see the answers to my questions. I was not at peace with the solution because I was attached to the concept of pride. I was attached to the concept of self-relience and well just attached to all sorts of things. I saw how these attachments in the big picture of the universe were just illusions, sillyness. He pointed out that I have always acted with honor and kindness with this woman. Interestingly, my ex also finaly replied to my letter. Her reply however was only 4 short senteces and completely irrelevant to the whole letter. I asked how to proceed? Do I just pay her the money that I know have, or do I fight her as much as I can and see if I can wear her down. His response was to show me "ways" one was to be the way of the mountain the other the way of the stream. He told me either way had its pros and its cons. That niether way was right or wrong. He showed me how my ex is to me like the goddess Carridwin was to Gwion-bach, after he tasted the three drops of Awen. Chasing me through transformations and the elements all the while screaming at my back, and just as she is about to get her hands, teeth, claws, around my throte, I change, shift into another form and make my escape. I could see how I have been pushed through earth, air, fire, and now water. I got the impression that there isn't much left she can do to me.
So now I am much more at peace with this solution. My years of Taoist studies have taught me well how to release attachments. Now I stand at a decision of how to proceed next. The way of the mountain, or the way of the flowing stream.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Beltane in a nut shell.

Yesterday I led Beltane. Not just for me, but for a large group of people, most pagan, but a few S.O.s who were there were not. We even had a professional photogropher. I could sit here and type out in boring detail all that I did and the why's of it. I am neither in the mood nor see the need to do this. I do want to share some thoughts on it though. First off, I am very pleased with the ritual. It ran very smoothly. I felt that the people attending got a lot out of it, each in thier own personal way. The evening broke down like this. People gathered, we did some drumming, then the ritual itself which was a combination of OBOD druid work and Wicca. After ritual we feasted and did some more drumming with an actual drumming lesson. Then more feasting, laughing, and drinking. It was the best Beltane I have ever had. What did I get from it? Well..spiritually, that's hard to say. I spent so much time and energy just putting it together for the others that it wasn't deeply moving for me. Thinking of it like poetry in the world of actions helps. It's like the poet reading a poem he wrote to an audience. You put so much into the performance that the poet misses the point of the poem. I am tired and not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me. I supose when I push myself to think about it more, the most meaningful portion of the ritual to me was the giving of offerings to the Pan and Selene (not gods that I would chose to invite, but at times it's best to just shut up and make the witch happy. ;-)) and the seer's pulling of a tarot to determine what, if any, blessing the gods had given us in return. Amazingly, and so fittingly, it was the "lovers" who were pulled. Every one gave a slight gasp of joyus amazment when that card came up. It fit so very well with the theme of Beltane. The only drama to be had was the laughter and loving of friends. It was so much fun to watch them "let their hair down". Wine was drunk, and shots were taken from between the breasts of beautiful woman! The food was fantastic and the stories told would have not been believed...if not for the pictures to prove it!
It was definately a great time, but that's half of the point right there. Its the "good" season, the time of plenty and of going a little wild just this one night a year.