Thursday, April 29, 2010

Acropolis :: 20090430-_MG_1006-Edit

Acropolis :: 20090430-_MG_1006-Edit

This image is from the 2009 Beltane fire Festival in Edinburgh. I Strongly recomend that you go to the website and check them out. You can also look them up on Wikipedia. I believe that this group has set the bar, and set it high, as to the measure of all modern pagan rituals. I have made it a goal to some day fly over there just to witness this beautiful ceremony. If you choose to explore this. I recomend reading the wikipedia first before looking at the photos as it will help you to understand what is going on in each of the photos.

Moving on to stage 2.

So in a spirit-walk yesterday I was told that for the next step in dealing with my ex and her attack is to forgive her. Ah yes the "F" word. Easy to say, not so easy to do. Now before I go any further I'd like to point out that I was not raised in an over christian house hold. The last time I set foot in a church as a child was when I was 8 years old. I don't seem to have a lot of the christian "baggage" that many of my other pagan friends do. That being said, forgiveness is important to the healing process. I see that, or rather feel that, to be true. If I can forgive then the last vestiges of this anger and resentment, which ultimately is futile and only hurts me and perhaps those around me, will go. So I know what to do, but how do I do it? There in lies the 1,000,000 dollar question. Perhaps forgiveness grows. Like a small seed planed in the dirt of my spirit is needs water and fertilizer, then some sun. After a while it will grow as it grows I "forgive". However I don't intend to forget. That would be silly and I don't believe one has to forget in order to forgive. It seems to me that since the spirits gave me no warning, at least none that I could see, of this impending issue, they wanted me to suffer it to learn. Forgetting would thus be the antithesis of the whole point and I would be once again bound to repeat the lesson. NO THANK YOU! I think I'll see about doing some ritual things to help me forgive. Perhaps that is the next question I shall pose to the spirits in my next walk.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

And in the knowledge of justice, the love of it.

Wow, I really feel good today. I am FINALY getting my balance back. My heart is open once again and I feel the power of love flowing through me this morning. I didn't dream about my ex and our conflict last night. I feel at peace and no longer anxious about my future. Now if I can just maintain this, there in is the trick. It's one thing to have this feeling of balance, love and peace for a moment, hours, or even a day, the goal is to keep this feeling even in the midst of turmoil. Some thing I didn't do a good job of this round. In the course of a conversation I had yesterday I discovered a part of what was bothering me so much was the injustice I see that my ex gets to use the government as a way to punish me for my being happy and getting remarried. In druidry, we hold justice as one of the highest virtues and ideals. Just realizing that this bothered me so much was the key to letting it go. In the bigger picture I find it sad that everyone sees the system is broken yet no one makes moves to balance it. It's not majorly broken in this area, but does need some tweeking.
On another related note; the spell that I cast to protect my income and help it grow seems to have worked. I am seeing money trickle in from unexpected places. The attemted credit card fraud against my fiance` was stopped so fast that the transaction never went through.
Beltainne is but a week away, and preperations for a celebration and ritual are underway here. It will be filled with good friends, beautifully sensual belly dancers, ritual, and feasting! It's good to be pagan!

Friday, April 23, 2010

some days are better then others

Well, haven't been able to post as much as I would like. School, work, and chores keep me pretty busy. I am still working on the anger I feel toward my ex. Some days are better then others in that regards. The Ex has gone on a trip out of the country with the kids to see family, so I haven't been able to speak to her at all, and thus no resolution. I am pretty much stuck in the same place I was a couple weeks ago. The other day the stress of it all made me down right grouchy on the inside, but it seems I did a good job of not letting it play out in my relationships. I did the sacred grove exercise and the light body. Instead of doing it the usual way though, I tried to take the anger and "burn" it up as a "fuel" to the light in the light body exercises. I think this helped a little, and I should continue with the practice. I have noticed that I am dreaming a lot about my Ex, and this situation. Each time I am arguing with her over it. I don't normally remember my dreams, but when I do I pay attention. I think that these however are just my subconscious mind working out its own form of cognative disonence. Since I can't find resolution in the waking world, my mind is trying to create it in the dream world. Yesterday I felt the heavy weight of the issues on me. Today, I feel much lighter and happier. Not care free, but much better. I guess for now at least, I must wait until the ex returns from her trip and take it from there. Until then I think I'll go enjoy my garden and grove.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

eating the anger out, a spirit-walk

My spell is complete. Now we wait and see how things fall. I had a very powerful spirit-walk the other day. In it, my four spirit animal guides worked me over to do as I asked, to help rid me of the anger I felt toward my Ex and the actions she is taking against me and my fiance`. In the walk, Stag held me down with his antlers. Eagle tore me open with a single claw from navel to base of my neck. Fox then came and using his teeth ripped out the anger and resentment and all that. He then tossed it to Salmon who took it down into a lake. I then was swallowed by the earth. I was comforted and healing took place. I was then pushed up to the surface, whole and healed. It was a somewhat disturbing experiance, but the results have been worth it. I am again at peace within.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Blood from a stone part 2

As I mentioned in my previous post, my ex has decided to renig on our agreement and to come after me for more money of which she well knows I don't have. The timing of this change of heart fall suspiciously upon the heals of my informing her of my pending Marriage to another. I had been putting off telling my Ex of the arrangement for fear of this sort of retaliation. My spiritual and Magical practice has been a huge part of getting through this. When I was first made aware of her action against me, I spent a lot of time in communion with the holy kindred (ancestors, spirits and the gods). With the inspiration I gained there I was able to secure aid from my parents in this matter. However I hope to only make use of it if all other negotiations fail. Once I had settled from the initial shock and anger, I came up with this magickal strategy. First I would banish the negative energies she has direct at me on the dark moon. Then I would follow that with the creation of magical sigils to protect and enhance my finances. For the banishment I decided to call upon each of the four elements to cleans and banish. I did this in the physical world by using four different herbs of banishment and combined one of each with an elemental representation. Wormwood with some dirt for earth, Ceder used as incense for air, Mugwart mixed in a candle for fire, and basil in water for water. I then "smudged" my love and myself in each of the physical elements. For the help of the divine, I called upon the god Lugh and the goddess Bridget. Before the ritual, I had called upon the element of air to help me write a letter to my Ex explaining my situation. I then brought the letter into the ritual with me and asked for the blessings upon it and for success in it's mission. I then sent the "letter" in the form of an email. I performed this ritual outdoors. After the ritual I immediately felt as if a weight had been lifted off my heart.

I began the second part of the spell work last night. In this I took a dollar bill and cut it up. I took two squares of it and drew upon them a sigil made up of the rune Fehu surrounded by a circle and from that eight rays, one for each station of the wheel of the year. I then turned each ray into an Ogham. I did four for Oak, and four for Iron. I then placed them on my alter and sanctified and "charged" them. I will do this three times over a period of three days as the moon waxes. After the third time, the sigils will be placed in my wallet and that of my Love's.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

squeezing the stone

This week it seems my fiance` and I are under financial attack. First in the form of my ex-wife who thinks she can squeeze blood from a stone, then today the credit card company calls and asks if we just spent 1,000.00 at officemax. Thank the gods Bank of America caught it so fast (within minuets). We are thinking some magicks to protect our financial security are in order.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The spirit of place

My good friend Frater POS made a post about land and energy here. Druidry is outdoor magick. It is magick of the land, sea and sky. We do at times use man made alters we also use natural alters of stone or just the earth. Druidry is also magick of the heavens. Unlike so many magickal systems out there that focus on either the energies of the heavens or of the earth druidry is very much about balance and using both. The Oak tree is an amazing tree. One of it's special qualities is that its root system is the mirror of its branching. It's roots run as deep and as braod as its branches. Druidry tries to be like the oak in this (as well as other ways)way. Firmly rooted in the earth taking up earth energy and magick as well as nutrients. At the same time, it reaches it branches toward heaven taking in the sunlight and the magick and energy of the heavens. Thus the oak grows strong and supple, full of power and wisdom.
Different places on the earth have different energies and thus can "feel" different. Learning to sense this energy and make use of it is, in my opinion, important to successful druidic magick. It can take time when in a new area to adjust to the energy of a new place. Living in the desert like Frater POS and then traveling up to Oregon over my spring break and spending time at the home of my parents, well the energies of place are very different to say the least. It's hard to put into words. The energy of my parents place in Oregon was so "thick" and "full". One evening after my parents had gone to bed, I felt as if the spirit of the place, made up of all the spirits of the plants and animals, came to visit me and "check me out". I just felt it as a presence. Perhaps it remembered me and was coming to say "hello, welcome back, come and run through my woods again." Sadly, I didn't get to do that. My days were filled with my children and Chemistry homework.
The energy of where I live daily, is much "lighter" and resides deeper in the earth. I would say its much more subtle. Some would probably describe this as "less". I, however, don't believe that it is less. I have been able to work strong magicks here in the desert, I have just had to learn to reach "deeper" in to the earth to tap into it. I have had to learn to draw more from the solar currents as well then I ever did before. I would add that I feel the energy of here in the desert is much least stagnant then the energy of the woods where I grew up. Frater POS is correct in saying "if you can do magick anywhere, you can do it anywhere". Find the energy of where you live. Talk to the spirit of that place. Get to know it and befriend it. Make a partnership with it and you can do magick there.