Thursday, April 29, 2010

Moving on to stage 2.

So in a spirit-walk yesterday I was told that for the next step in dealing with my ex and her attack is to forgive her. Ah yes the "F" word. Easy to say, not so easy to do. Now before I go any further I'd like to point out that I was not raised in an over christian house hold. The last time I set foot in a church as a child was when I was 8 years old. I don't seem to have a lot of the christian "baggage" that many of my other pagan friends do. That being said, forgiveness is important to the healing process. I see that, or rather feel that, to be true. If I can forgive then the last vestiges of this anger and resentment, which ultimately is futile and only hurts me and perhaps those around me, will go. So I know what to do, but how do I do it? There in lies the 1,000,000 dollar question. Perhaps forgiveness grows. Like a small seed planed in the dirt of my spirit is needs water and fertilizer, then some sun. After a while it will grow as it grows I "forgive". However I don't intend to forget. That would be silly and I don't believe one has to forget in order to forgive. It seems to me that since the spirits gave me no warning, at least none that I could see, of this impending issue, they wanted me to suffer it to learn. Forgetting would thus be the antithesis of the whole point and I would be once again bound to repeat the lesson. NO THANK YOU! I think I'll see about doing some ritual things to help me forgive. Perhaps that is the next question I shall pose to the spirits in my next walk.


  1. I have issues with the F word too. Compassion helps me get to forgiveness, another weakness in my spiritual/emotional repertoire. It sucks being a heartless bastard sometimes.

    The following is my personal tech for growing forgiveness. Sometimes I actually succeed. And I'm struggling with forgiveness in a major way right now in my life, so trust me, your posts are helping me objectivize my issues too.

    Try to see her as an extension of the same entity/force that manifests as "Gwynt-Siarad." Try to see that she's acting the way she is because she's been damaged and can't help it right now. Try to remember to see everything from the perspective of eternity, and to understand that things don't have to be "fair" or even particularly pleasant in the brief time that we suffer through existence in this plane.

    Lately it seems like most of life is painful, with a few brief and fleeting moments of joy in between. I try to keep in mind that the things I'm dealing with are temporary, and it helps for a while, but then I get overwhelmed with the seeming urgency of the moment.

    Nothing's ever easy.

  2. i struggled with this too. Turned out I never needed to. Something else was the key. Drop the cultural paradigm and you'll see.