Wow, I really feel good today. I am FINALY getting my balance back. My heart is open once again and I feel the power of love flowing through me this morning. I didn't dream about my ex and our conflict last night. I feel at peace and no longer anxious about my future. Now if I can just maintain this, there in is the trick. It's one thing to have this feeling of balance, love and peace for a moment, hours, or even a day, the goal is to keep this feeling even in the midst of turmoil. Some thing I didn't do a good job of this round. In the course of a conversation I had yesterday I discovered a part of what was bothering me so much was the injustice I see that my ex gets to use the government as a way to punish me for my being happy and getting remarried. In druidry, we hold justice as one of the highest virtues and ideals. Just realizing that this bothered me so much was the key to letting it go. In the bigger picture I find it sad that everyone sees the system is broken yet no one makes moves to balance it. It's not majorly broken in this area, but does need some tweeking.
On another related note; the spell that I cast to protect my income and help it grow seems to have worked. I am seeing money trickle in from unexpected places. The attemted credit card fraud against my fiance` was stopped so fast that the transaction never went through.
Beltainne is but a week away, and preperations for a celebration and ritual are underway here. It will be filled with good friends, beautifully sensual belly dancers, ritual, and feasting! It's good to be pagan!