Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Solution has arrived...
Well the solution has arrived to the financial problem my ex has stirred up. So then why did I feel so crappy about it? First I must say there was a flood of emotions surrounding the news. Happy that my magick worked, relief of the stress, anticipation of the woman's reactions when she finds out that I have escaped yet another one of her financial traps laid out for me. (thank you my foxy friend). Yet at the same time I felt bad. I wasn't happy. In fact I felt down right bad about it. I felt bad that it was coming from my parents. I spoke with the spirits today in meditation. I met with Cernernos actually. He let me look into a cauldron and in it I was able to see the answers to my questions. I was not at peace with the solution because I was attached to the concept of pride. I was attached to the concept of self-relience and well just attached to all sorts of things. I saw how these attachments in the big picture of the universe were just illusions, sillyness. He pointed out that I have always acted with honor and kindness with this woman. Interestingly, my ex also finaly replied to my letter. Her reply however was only 4 short senteces and completely irrelevant to the whole letter. I asked how to proceed? Do I just pay her the money that I know have, or do I fight her as much as I can and see if I can wear her down. His response was to show me "ways" one was to be the way of the mountain the other the way of the stream. He told me either way had its pros and its cons. That niether way was right or wrong. He showed me how my ex is to me like the goddess Carridwin was to Gwion-bach, after he tasted the three drops of Awen. Chasing me through transformations and the elements all the while screaming at my back, and just as she is about to get her hands, teeth, claws, around my throte, I change, shift into another form and make my escape. I could see how I have been pushed through earth, air, fire, and now water. I got the impression that there isn't much left she can do to me.
So now I am much more at peace with this solution. My years of Taoist studies have taught me well how to release attachments. Now I stand at a decision of how to proceed next. The way of the mountain, or the way of the flowing stream.