Healing spell update

It is now the beggining of day three after the group healing work done on my b'loved. All in all, I would say it has helped. Though she is far from being totally healed, it seems to me the pains are lessoned, but more then that I suspect a change in her mental attitude. She's not as angry, though still a bit frightened. Though it seems to be a simply, if painful, case of gallstones, there is that little bit of fear that worries if it isn't some thing more, like cancer. I myself don't feel such fears. With the aid of my daily magical practice and meditations I find myself not only staying centered, but thinking how silly it is to wast the energy and tears in worrieing about something that will most likely never be. Ah, but worry, it seems to me at least, is not rational. No, and in point of fact, trying to rationalize it away will only take one so far. I am not much of a worrier. Never have been, though there have been times. So how does one not worry? Well, I supose it's because I stay in the present and mentaly work with what is, or at least with what is truly known. To worry, is to loose oneself in an illusion of ones own creation, which is perhaps the most powerful kind of illusion there is. Worry does not change facts, worry only wasts ones energy and focus on the things at hand. I don't worry, because I accept. I accept the destiny the Gods, spirits, and ancestors place for me. I don't worry because I know that I have the wisdom to create the fate for myself that I want. To clearify, destiney are the cards we are dealt. Fate is the results of how we play those cards. Fretting over what cards I shall be dealt...well that's sillyness.

The other Harvest

The Sun no longer gets up so early, nor does he stay out so late. I can sense the change, I feel his old age in the air, land, and sea. Despite that the summer court is still staying on strong here this week. Today was only 106 degrees of Farinhieght, the day before was 110. I spent a good portion of it sitting outside in the shade of a tree I only wish I knew the name of on the campus of the college I am attending. I watch all the kids standing around just out of highschool. I must seem an odd old man with long hair to them, sitting all alone under my tree, book in hand. I find myself examining my life and thinking about what things I have planted and what I am now harvesting because of it. I can't help but smile, my harvest this year is abundant and amazing. Love is my corn this year. By corn I don't mean the yellow stuff grown in the new world, but by the deffanition of my largest crop. There is plaque in my parent's house that says "plant kindness, harvest love". It seems I have done a lot of that this past year. Mostly through the Pagan meetup I started and led. In October I am going to find out if the hard work I planted in my classes is going to come to fruite as I apply at the hospitals for a sponsered seat in the college's nursing program. I think of all the love both my wife and I are harvesting now in our lives as she strugles with her illness. Thank the gods that we see the surgeon on the morrow. I hope we can get her schedualed soon, and start harvesting some healing.
As per the OBOD training, I have also been looking at some of my past experiances, revisiting them as it were. I then do my best the thresh the "grain" from them. Those that no longer serve me, I let them go to where ever the place is that forgotten memories go.
I am still doing my daily meditations, I have harvested a lot from those over the year. Balance, peace, strength of mind, and magickal power. I am preparing to start the two dragon ritual at Alban Elfed.
I and my friends are making preperations for Pagan Pride Day here where I live. I was thinking of doing some story telling, but with the busyness of school and taking care of my family, I felt it would be stretching myself to thin.
And so the days of summer role by. Belinus reminds us yet again that he is still strong, that his time has not yet ended. I know the winter court is just waiting though, biding its time. The wheel turns ever on, as it has since the beggining.

Done in a new way

Yesterday while at College, I wanted to do the CoP but without being obvious. I sat myself under a try, put on my headphones and played shamanic drumming to drown out the sounds of construction, and people's conversations, as well as to put me into an alterd state of mind. I did the CoP entirely from the spirit world. It was a nice way to do it. The energies had a different quality to them. I'd call it more vivid.

My b'loved has been the focus of a lot of magick and medicine. I and others have "thrown" a good amount of healing energies at her. I would have to say it has all helped. Today she has another Dr. apt. with the GP, I assume she'll get a refurel to a surgeon. Tonight we some members of the pagan meetup are getting together to do a group healing ritual. It should be interesting. I am not leading this shindig this time, and that's ok with me. I am there to be a battery.

I think that what was stopping me from doing a healing spell earlier for my b'loved was the fear of it not working. I'll have to explore that a bit. I suspect it will take me to deal with issues of "fear of failure". We shall see!

muddling through

These last two weeks my Love has been suffering through Gallstone attacks. We are awaiting to hear from a the Dr. and refural to a surgon for removal of the gallbladder. In the mean time I am doing what I can to bring comfort to my love. Teas, painkillers, magick. Anything and every thing. I also am trying to keep the house clean, the fridge filled, and get ready for school starting again on Monday.

The stuff of dreams

I have had two interesting dreams this week already. The first one was about my Dad. He was telling me all about how he was divorcing Mom. He looked happier then I can remember seeing him in a long time. He told me how he had outsmarted her by gifting all his guns to the grandkids so she couldn't use them against him financially in the divorce. He also pointed out a large crater like depression in the ground with standing stones circling it's upper rim. He called it a "princess footprint" which in my dream made complete sense to me, but trust me when I tell you that it means nothing to me now in my waking state. There was supposed to be some sort of great gift or treasure berried in the center of it, and there was a man with a child digging with his bare hands in the center of the depression. Digging quite frantically I might add.

The other dream I had last night. I dreamed that I went to the store with my mother. I needed to get some dog food, and she needed to get a shot that would make it easier for her to get in touch with , and talk about, her feelings. I tried to pay for the dog food with $400.00, and they couldn't figure out the change. I got frutsrated, took my money, and left. When I left the store it was nice and warm, but when my mother and I got to the car it was cold and snowy. (indicating something that will happen this winter?) Off the hood, near the windshild, were two copper rods coming up on my mom's car. Attached to these rods were jumper cables. I was confused, and followed the cable to the feet of a very large man, maybe 7-8 feet tall, long reddish brown beard, wearing a winter ski cap, and ski jacket coming our way. He introduced himself as Goibniu. I said "the Irish god of Brewing?" He laughed and nodded. Then I wondered why the god of brewing was getting a jump start off my mom's car...no wait, don't answer that, I don't want to know.

Here I dream of a dream.

I haven't had much to write about the last few days, or rather haven't felt inspired to write. I have finished up the study of elemental air in the OBOD course. It was good. It helped me to get some ideas and dreams organized and filed. One of them is an idea and dream I have had for a long time. I would very much like to have a sacred grove/temple here in my community that would be open for use by all pagans. A place in or near town. A place that was safe and conducive to meditation and ritual. A temple all our own. I have it all mapped out in my mind in almost every detail from the trees to the parking lot. I have walked it's grounds in my mind a number of times, and seen rituals done. Sadly I don't have the money personally at this point in my life to buy the land and begin the process. I have considered creating a non-profit organization or joining one, to make this happen, but I can't help consider how, after money is raised for such a purchase, how to continue to pay for the taxes and up keep. I have considered charging for its use by Pagan groups, but then I can't help but think that this would keep them from making use of it. I love the Pagan community here around me, but I don't think its large enough to be able to support such a temple on donations alone either. Perhaps there could be "memberships" sort of like a country club? Only keep the prices reasonable. Its frustrating. I feel the need for it, but not the way to make it viable. Is getting some sort of church status open to the pagans? This would eliminate the taxation issue and greatly improve the viability of this project. It seems when ever I research this idea on the net, all I find are legal battles between pagans and the government on this issue. The one exception being Circle sanctuary. I find it amusing that Pagans are so against being organized, and yet, it is only with organization, a coming together, that we will be able to make such places as I dream of a reality. It is starting to happen, slowly. Circle, ADF, AODA, OBOD. All of these are gaining a following, and in time we may come to see such temples built. OBOD encourages such things, but yet, doesn't give any nitty gritty, get your hands dirty, details and on how to get it done when you can't just buy or lease a piece of land. This is something I'd really like to see some one write a book about. "How to build a temple for the pagan community". Who knows, maybe some day it will be a book I write myself.

Level up!

On Saturday I recieved an email that my examination was recieved and I have been accepted to the First Degree in AODA. I am now a Druid apprentice!

I looked over the course requirements for the next two years, and I have to say I am very excited to get started!