Ah Horse pocky! A dream, a spirit-walk

Yesterday a friend told me that she has an important legal meeting today. She was very nervous about it. We chatted for a while and I offered to do a prayer and offering to Lugh in her name in hopes he'll help her cause, which she feels is just. I did this. I don't know if the dream I had that night was related or not, I do know it was one of those "special" dreams.

It was early fall, the sun was still high and streamed through the pine trees. I was quietly and stealthily working my way across a wild hillside. My bow was in my hand. My eyes and ears alert to tell tail signs of my quarry the mighty Rocky Mountain Elk. I was alone. All was as it should be. I hadn't gone far, mostly just being still when I caught movement up and to my left. I looked and there in an opening was a Beautiful and very large horse. A draft horse. I could see clearly what it was, and yet I was compelled to draw my bow and to my own horror shoot the beautiful and wild creature. The arrow found the horse, but wasn't going to be a quick kill. The horse jumped and took only a few steps. I Again a drew another arrow and this one was perfectly placed. The horse bolted but only made it a short distance before it stopped, listed one side then the other before crashing to earth's ever catching arms. I went to the horse and prepared for the field dressing. Upon the side of the horse was some how attached a child's painting in crayon. I found myself wondering how the meat would taste. Then I woke up.

This dream has left me feeling ill at ease. I have read "The Druid animal Oracle" on horse in hopes it would give me some insight. Nothing really struck home. In short the horse is tied to both earth and the sun. Epona the horse goddess is a psychopomp and gatekeeper. she opens the gates to the other world at Beltaine ushering in new souls, and again at Samhain, this time taking souls back to the otherworld. The horse can symbolize life, death, rebirth. Horses were often used in sacrifices and grave goods.

I also did a spirit journey to try and see if the spirits would be willing or able to fill me in further. I was blessed to have Lugh speak with me briefly. Though I was unable to discern further meaning from my dream from him. He showed me a plain with wild horses. There was the horse I had killed, alive and well, but it carried the scares from where my arrows pierced its side. All Lugh said to me was "beautiful aren't they?" All I could do was agree. Then I was in the forested hillside again. I Heard a harsh rasping whisper in my head to heal the horse. I said to the voice, that I couldn't that it was dead, I couldn't bring it back to life. The voice said that all things are possible in the other world and again it demanded of me to heal the horse. Standing as I was in the place from which I had shot the horse, I hiked back to where it had fallen. There it was. Dead. I was very upset and having to relive this thing I had done that I regretted was not any fun. I placed my hands upon the horse and told it I was sorry. I wished it alive again. Then it "melted" and skin-turned into a grey woman. That is how she appeared to me. Grey. A monotone gray with some shading to add little detail. The woman, the goddess, told me all was right. To remember that death is necessary for new life. That death is the door of transformation. As she spoke these words she seemed to float away and shrink. I asked if something, some one was going to die. The last response was that all would be made clear in the future, then she was gone.

My mind then wandered and when I "looked" around again I was in a grew void. I grew plain with whitish mist. I was lost and felt a tinge of panic raise within me. Then there was a nudge on my arm from behind. I turned, startled, and found stag there. I hugged his neck and the world formed to a part of the other world I was familiar with. A place I had been many times before. Stag told me it was time to return home and we walked the path back to the place that I can return to my body from. Thus I did.

So here I am writing this down. I have much to think on it would seem. After all I still am unclear as to the meanings of all this. I gather I am not supposed to understand it all now, but in time it will be made clear. I will trust in the spirits and shining ones. They seem to have lessons in store for me. At least I got to meet a new spirit. Was it Epona? Was it Rhiannon, Macha, Or Etain?
heh. More questions, answers to which I do not yet have.