Tuesday, October 23, 2012

"Stopping the hunt" A spirit walk

It has been far to long I considered as I found myself stepping out of my body into my little valley of the spirit world.  I walked down the hill the green grass still wet with dew, the path the same I have walked many times before.  At the base of the hill I crossed the bridge over the stream and went on to the ring of standing stones that marked the temple.  The usual central fire was not blazing but instead was merely smoldering.  The ancient wise who normally is there was not.  I looked about.  I called for my guide the stag, but he too did not respond.  Not sure what to do, I walked to where the stream opened up into a small pond near the temple.  I squatted along the shore looking deeply into the water and for a brief moment caught sight of a salmon, which upon making eke contact with me quickly darted to the black depths.  I was very alone.  I placed my finger tips onto the water and felt the cold.  I stood, walked back to the ring of stones, the fall leaves crunching under foot.  Once there, I stood caught in the stillness, only to have it shattered a moment later by the flutter of wings and the landing of a large raven across the way from me.  I greeted the bird, only to have it skin-turn.  There before stood the Morrigan.  I gave her a very respect full greeting.  It was returned and she proceeded to tell me that this was her season, that she had taken the throne.  She also told me that stag was not there for at this moment, he was being hunted.  I was taken aback at the news, but before I could think overly much I found myself racing into the woods to save him.  I couldn't help but notice the irony of it all considering that I myself have been the hunter of several deer.  After a short distance I realized that I had no idea where he was, or where to find him.  Then the raven flew ahead of me, and I some how knew to follow, so I did.  The Morrigan lead me to where I could find my old friend and I was able to stop the hunters.  Then the Morrigan again appeared to me as a woman and she said unto me "you have saved him from death this time, but you can not always save your friends".  With that she again turned to the raven and flew away.  I watched her go, my fingers gently combing through the stags fur, and considered her message and the lesson in all this.  Once she was gone a globe of brightness appeared before me and the stag and it coalessed into Lugh.  We spoke but a little about recent events in my life and about my challenges in nursing school. He was very supportive and assured me that I would get through it, but had to keep studying hard.  He reminded me that "you are the light bringer".  With that he told me it was time to return.  I mounted stag, and he took me back to the gateway.  I dismounted and hugged stag and spoke with him for a time to reconnect.  Then I said goodbye and stepped back through the gate.  Looking down at my self sitting before my shrine, I stepped into my body, sat down, and closing my spirit walk, opened my eyes.

Monday, October 22, 2012

feeling the distance

As fall begins to settle over the dry land, I feel the parched distance in my soul. I am too long away from the temple of the trees and the pews of the grass.  My feel the call of the wild deep within me, like a primal urge.  Yet I never seem to be able to make the time in my craze to succeed in school.  Constantly studying, slouched over a desk, lost in the deep learning of the medical texts.  Pages upon pages of all that can go wrong in these amazing bodies we call home, with periodic pictures of pain and suffering.  I ache to be free again.  Free of responsibility, free of deadlines, free of the everyday testing of how much information I have been able to slam into my long term memory in a mere twenty four hours.  I long to run my hands across the rough bark of the cottonwoods and chat with their old spirits in the language of energy traded.  I wish to sit and listen to the babbling of Po-Sun-Co-La as the sun twinkles off her sparkly ever flowing cloak....

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Nursing school...not for the weak of mind

This blog has been silent for a long time.  I started this blog as a place to publicly share my experiences with Druidry and as a journal for my inner journey on this path.  As readers will know, I am currently in a nursing school, and this is taking not only all my time, but everything I can through at it mentally, physically, and spiritually.  It is my spirituality and faith in the holy kindred that get me through day to day.  I have done some difficult things in my time, but Nursing school tops them all. I have gone from a straight “A” student with time left over to run a pagan spiritual meetup weekly, my local grove and leading the high day rites, to studying 6 hours a day for a test only to get a “B”.   I have had to cancel the last high day right and have no plans to lead another until the winter solstice when I am on break from classes.  What I am doing is my daily meditation and daily offerings to the kindred.  I am also struggling with one of my instructors, it would seem she hasn’t taken much a like to me and on the last major paper appeared to actively be trying to find reasons to fail me on it (which she did.).  I also am beginning to suspect that some of the “vibe” I am picking up from her is religious in nature.  I suspect she has at some level an issue  with my being pagan. Thus I responded with a small bit of magic of my own in the hopes she will see me in a better light.  My studies on my clergy training have been put on hold for the time being, but I am only one essay away from finishing my preliminary work.   I plan to finish this up over the winter break.  I haven’t made the time to do any major workings or spirit-walks of late.  This is something I hope to change over the coming break as well.  I miss my weekly meetings, and I miss leading the high day rites.  I never realized till now how much I enjoyed it all, until I couldn’t make the time.