Friday, November 30, 2012

The Cup, the harp, and the Hammer--compassion

Day four of my daily devotionals, and the meditation was back to being a still image of the high one seated in her throne.  I have noticed that since I started these devotionals I am feeling much more compassionate than usual.  It’s a nice feeling.  Some examples of what I am referring too would be the woman at the gas station, wearing angry bird pajama bottoms, old tennis shoes, a dirty white old winter jacket and a burger king crown on her head.  She was going from customer begging for change.  I felt a wave of compassion for her.  Another example would be the other day when my b’loved was being very critical of how another woman dressed at a party we had been to.  Though I could see the point my b’loved was making I couldn’t help but feel compassion for the woman, who ‘s clothing choice, though uncouth, wasn’t so bad as to deserve such derision.  (to cleaify the woman was not known to us nor around when the conversation took place)   In the past these are situations that probably wouldn’t have elicited much of an emotional response from me.  This week however I found myself wishing there was something I could do to benefit them.  I can only attribute the change to the devotional work I am doing.  Compassion is a great thing to have.  However like all emotions it needs to be in moderation.  I am curious to see if this new found compassion is some sort of “rebalancing” the goddess is giving to me, that I am regaining the compassion I lost, or is it a new thing entirely.  Right now I think it’s a rebalancing, or re finding an aspect of the person I was before my now ex wife slowly stole it away. 

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The cup, the Hammer, and the Harp #5

Not much to report about today.  I ran through the ritual smoothly  I have it completely memorized now and it flows easily.  During the meditation portion my mind had difficulty staying focused and it ran after thoughts constantly.  A result of this was my ironing out some ideas for the Winter solstice ritual I will be leading in a few weeks.  This however was not the intention of the meditation. In the end I was able to buckle down and sink into an altered state of mind and focus.  Again I pulled up an image of the goddess in my mind. 

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Cup, the Harp, and the Hammer #4

This morning found me in front of my shrine for day 2 of the Bridget devotionals.   The rite was the same as the day before.  This time though when I was visualizing the image of the goddess, she was sitting on a throne as before,  but the throne began to spin in a circle slowly.  I tried to hold the image still in my mind, but couldn’t seem to be able to.  It “insisted” on turning.  I kept trying to hold it still, but this then caused the image to change so that the goddess disappeared and all I saw was an empty throne…which still insisted on spinning around slowly.  When I stopped trying to hold it still in my mind, the image of the goddess returned.  What else could I do, I simply focused on this image of the goddess in her rotating throne. I am not sure how long I worked with this imagery, but I know that about 30 minuets passed from the time I started the work to the time I left my shrine and went into the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. 

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The cup, the harp, and the hammer. #3

Today was the day 1 of the nine day devotional I am doing to the goddess Bridget.  I sat at my indoor alter, upon it was a framed picture of the goddess and a Bridgit’s cross I made last Imbolc.   There are a number of other items on my alter but for this work they are not important.  I rang the bell that sits on my alter nine times, as is my custom to begin all meditation and ritual here.  I then went through the devotional outlined by Rev. Corrigan.  I meditated on my inner image of the goddess for a long time.  Much of the imagery incorporated what was laid down in the text, but there were some details that were all my own.  At times I lost my focus, as thoughts of the impending school finals and the need to study, or of the poor clinical review I was anticipating today, rudely came barging into my mind. However I was able to let them go and come back to the beautiful image of the goddess.  It seemed to have a calming effect for me.  I am thankful for that.  Now post clinical review, which went as I suspected (though I still passed the clinic), I find myself wanting to go back to that space.  There was peace and beauty there.  Needless to say, I am looking forward to tomorrow, where I will continue the devotionals.   
Readers, please feel free to comment or ask questions.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

The cup, the harp, and the hammer #2

After my last post, I decided I wanted to consult the kindred if this working with the goddess Bridgit is some thing I should do.  I got a positive response.  When I asked if I should begin the workings this December I got a very strong positive response.  So I have been memorizing the short daily devotional to Bridget in preparation for nine days of devotional work.   I will do this before I begin my convocations.  I will be making some adjustments to my home shrine to be a bit more focused on this working as time permits. 

Brid thuas lin, Brid thios linn
Brid maidir linn
Brid inar gcroi

Thursday, November 22, 2012

The Hammer, the Harp, and the Cup post #1

I got a reprieve from school for a few days and want to take this chance to write about some noteworthy developments in my magical and spiritual life.  I have really been struggling with school this semester.  I have one teacher in particular who I seem to have communication issues with.  For some reason we just can’t seem to communicate smoothly and the end result is that she has come to the conclusion that my clinical skills are week.  I have never had this issue with any other instructor in the last year and a half of nursing school.  I decided to do a minor working to try and better the communication and situation.  The working composed mostly of pulling the two powers into me, and with my will and intent shaping it into a ball of energy with the intent of having her see my successes and less focus on my mistakes.  I then released the energy, “casting” the ball into the sky.  The end result…it didn’t really work at all that I can tell.  However, in the end it would seem she didn’t flunk me either and I will in fact be moving on to the next semester (assuming I don’t blow the final of course, which there is no reason why I would or should).  So that little “spell” in my book is a failure.  I did this spell the way I did because of time constraints.  I simply didn’t have the time to do a full rite.  I wish I could have.  It’s important to write about the spell failures as well as the successes. 

                Last week, a local witch and psychic who attends the local pagan meetup came up to me and told me that she had a message from a deceased friend or relative for me.  When I first met this woman years ago, I had her written off as… well at best as “ungrounded”.   I have now come to find her eccentric, but I do listen to what she has to say.  So I listened when she came up and said to me that “there is something you’re not doing before taking a test that you used to do…and he wants you to start doing that again.”  Even though the message was vague, I felt that I knew immediately what the spirit was referring too.  I had stopped giving offerings to the ancestors on the morning of a test.  I am not sure why I stopped.  I think that it was a combination of my frustration with school, and just being ok with what I was getting, even though deep down I wanted a higher score.  In the past I had noticed that my test scores would improve 5%-6% on the days I gave offerings vs. the days I didn’t.  So taking her words to heart, this week I made sure to give good offerings before my tests.  I took three tests and I noticed an increase in my test score for all the tests.  again about 5%-6%. What’s more is that I got this increase in score even though I didn’t study as much as I had been in the past.  I suppose someone could argue is all in my head, or that it’s a psychological trick I am playing on myself.  Honestly, I don’t care.  To me it FEELS like magic, and I like the results.  It will happen again. 

                I have also begun to once more let myself notice my impression of other people’s energetic states.  It’s hard for me to explain.  I just get a sense or a feel for the energy a person has.  I don’t see auras or colors or anything like that.  Yet I sense something.  If one isn’t careful all this study of science and nursing will cause a person to lose touch with their intuition.  I don’t want that to happen. 

                Now on to the title of this post, I have been slowly working through Ian Corrigan’s system of spirit art.  Though school and life has kept me from doing all the workings as quickly as I would like, it has worked wonderfully thus far.  This past summer I got to participate as a seer in one of the group “Court of Bridget” workings that Ian led.  This was a great experience.  Ian has now released a text that takes one through the complete spirit art system to work with Bridget and her court of spirits.  I received my copy the other day.  I have been trying to develop a relationship with Bridget for some time, and yet always there seems to be a distance.  So with this material in hand I am planning to spend the next part of my magical workings focusing on this goddess and her court.  How long, I am not sure exactly.  As long as it takes I suppose given my lack of free time. As usual I will write about my experiences here.  I hope to do the first working, which is gaining an audience with the Goddess Bridget herself.  I hope to do this working in the first weeks of December of this year.