I am not dead yet! really.

I know it's been an age since I have had/made time to sit down and write on this blog. Nursing school this semester has been a monster to deal with and I just haven't had the time. Summer will be here in just a few weeks however, and readers can once again look forward to regular updates.

I am now a Dedicant

I just recieved the official word last night. I have passed my dedicant's path review and I am now a dedicant! One step down, another to go!

Brushing off the old skills

It's been a while since I have gotten to use my skills as a massage therapist to help those who are in high to mid level amounts of pain. Today I got to do it for three people. Being in nursing school has really taken up an avialable time I might otherwise use to do massage, but today it worked out that I got to help some people out. I had forgotten what a nice feeling it is to see some one get off the massage table and watch the slow smile of relief come to their face as they realize they feel so much better. It's good to be reminded that I am in deed a healer.

I have turned in my Dedicant's pathwork, and the reviewer is going over it, and together we are making corrections and cleaning it up. It's hard to make the time to do it with school and all, but it's important to me. I know it's going to make me a much better writer also.

I have decided that I would like to do some volenteer work this summer for Hospice.

busy bee

School has started again. I have just finished my 3rd week of my 2nd semester of nursing school. It's fast and furious and I spend a lot of time reading, in class, in clinic and just trying to get it all done, thus the silence on my blog. The biggest news of note in regards to my Druidry is that I have completed my Dedicant's path work and submitted it for review. In a few weeks I should see if I pass or if things need more work. In the mean time I am stepping on to the Clergy path and have begun the preliminary work for that. Besides a several basket fulls of short essays this includes a dialy morning prayer, which now comes after my daily morning meditation, a even prayer over the meal, which I haven't succesfully incorperated into my routine yet, and a monthly retreat day. I haven't yet tried a retreat day, but it's just a matter of picking a Saturday and Sunday and making it happen. Easier said then done I supose.

In my inner life, I came to a painful realization last weekend. That being: alcholism is going to kill my parents, and I am powerless to change that. I saw the toll it was taking on thier bodies when I last visited and I see my parents getting old very fast. They have been trying to hold onto recovery since I was a toddler, but never seem to be able to. 36 years or so later and still they can't manage it. It may be thier liver, or a car accident, or some other type of death, but behind it will be the alcohol. It was a realization that made me sad. I am coming to terms with it however.

Also the other day I was taking a test in my Psychnursing class and there was a test question that described a woman who was very much like my ex-wife. I had a huge emotional reaction to it. It was sudden and unexpected. I have never had a test question give me an emotional reaction before. I was flooded with sadness and pitty. It seems there are still some unresolved feelings in regards to the divorce and my ex and what might very possibly be her borderline personality. Not sure when I will have time to explore that. Probably when I make time for my retreat day.

finale to the latest healing request

So the man for whome I was asked to do a working of healing survived the surgery and recovered completely from it. However the tumors in his brain were just the tip of the iceburg it turns out. It is throughout his entire body, lungs, liver, spleen, even into his bones. It is a death sentence. I didn't recieve word on the exact stage of the cancer, but based on this description I'd guess stage four. All there is to do now is help the family cope as best as I can in what way I can.

Coming to the end of the Dedicants Path work

So I have been on the ADF Dedicant's Path for a year and a month now, and I am all but finished. The last step before I submit it is to perform my Dedicant's Oath. I have decided that I shall give my oath in public at the Cottonwood Protogrove's Public Imbolc rite. This feels appropriate as I consider Brighid a patron.
I am also about to start my second semester of nursing school next Tuesday. Despite this, I plan to move forward with my religious pagan studies and start working the Clergy training program as well.

Meditation journal update: Nin on my mind

I am still meditating daily, Still doing the two powers and the tree of light exercises. Why?, because they work for me. Today after the two powers and tree of light, I found myself going on a spirit-walk and landed at the court of Lugh. This was a good thing as I was in need of guidence in regards to some leadership questions of the protogrove. Answers came as a mixed combination of words and images. The Ogham I pulled after my return and the end of my meditation was Nin. Very fitting for the situation. It was a reminder and a suggestion for a course of action.