Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Frustration


So a while back readers will recall that I passed my candidacy in AODA and given the green light to start my Druid apprentice level work....just as soon as I send in my $100.00 and receive the initiation ritual. No problem...if I had the money that is. I don't mean to complain, and I am not asking for a hand out, but I do feel the need to vent my frustration over this. I keep trying to find the extra money to send in, but it just isn't there. I keep trying to save my side massage money, but keep ending up having to use it for food, or gas. I just can't seem to get a little bit ahead. I am going without other things I want in hopes of getting the extra cash together, but it just doesn't seem to materialize. I am frustrated by it. I haven't spell cast for it yet. I guess I feel that I should be able to come up with the money without having to resort to that. I don't see it in the near future either. It's almost November, and before I know it, I'll have to find money to get or make presents for others. I know in the big scheme of things its a small thing. I have the reading list for the grade available and I have even started doing the work despite my lack of funds. It's just hard to be patient sometimes. I live a simple life, I don't ask for much, guess that's why it galls me so. To add fuel to the fire, yesterday I realized that I am coming to the end of the Bardic Grade in OBOD. I have really enjoyed all I have learned and the quality of the materials is second to none, but there is simply no way that I can afford to move on to the level of Ovate. I know it won't be like this forever, but for now the financial reality rubs the wrong way.

4 comments:

  1. Heh, yeah, I feel you bro. Venting the frustration is necessary.

    You already have the answer, you just haven't done it yet. You learned a lot about how to get things for yourself in the previous level. You haven't really graduated to the next until you can use what you've learned to get ahead. Consider this a test.

    You've been distracted for a while by more important things, but I've learned my frustration levels are usually a good indicator that I'm not dealing with something magically that I could, and probably should.

    All that you touch
    All that you see
    All that you taste
    All you feel
    All that you love
    All that you hate
    All you distrust
    All you save
    All that you give
    All that you deal
    All that you buy
    Beg, borrow or steal
    All you create
    All you destroy
    All that you do
    All that you say
    All that you eat
    Everyone you meet
    All that you slight
    Everyone you fight
    All that is now
    All that is gone
    All that's to come
    And everything under the sun is in tune
    (But the sun is eclipsed by the moon.)

    There is no dark side of the moon really.

    Matter of fact it's all dark.

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  2. Why haven't you "resorted" to magic? And why use a word that implies that the use of magic is a last chance/last gasp kind of thing?

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  3. I have a vested interested in the Pagan community, the development and quality of our leaders.

    I am for my community, what you are for yours.

    This morning a check for $100 was mailed to the AODA to cover your fee.

    Keep up the good work.

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  4. @R.O. and Lavanah. Thank you so much for your comments. I spent some time in meditation considering them. What I came up with is that within me I felt that I could and should be able to create the extra money needed. I am still of the thought that all mundane avenues should be explored first before "resorting" to magical ones. I must say that had not the my kind anonymous reader not taken action I would have done the magick to make the money manifest.
    @ my anonymous benefactor, Thank you so much. I can't put into words easily how reading your post made me feel. Disbelief, then a great big ear to ear smile broke out over my face. You sir or madam truly made my month. I will honor your kindness at Samhain with a "hail!" of mead. May the holy kindreds guide, cherish, and protect you and yours.

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